“The first question you should ask yourself is a tough one: Are you labeling the children, “the kids,” or “your kids and my kids”? That may sound harsh, but it may be understandable for some couples, if you have a child who is mostly at another parent’s house, or in college, and Dickey says that either approach is fine. “But it’s a crucial question to answer because people usually feel strongly one way or the other,” she says, adding: “If they both consider each other’s kids as one big family, combining finances is much easier.”

You’ll need an emergency fund.

Keep your taxes in mind.

Now that you’ve fallen in love and are starting a new life, think about dying.

“OK, maybe this isn’t the best time to bring this up, but you probably will want to change your will soon and buy some more life insurance, now that you have a bigger family. You might also want to consult an estate planner.”

Ease into the process.

“When you do move in, if you start merging your finances, you don’t have to do everything at once. In fact, if you’re able to avoid it, it’s probably better not to do everything at once.”