It’s unfortunate but 88% of people who set New Year’s Resolutions fail. Studies also show that most of these people quit by the end of January – they don’t even make it one month before moving on!
It surprises me how many people start the year with great intentions then give up so quickly! And to think all they had to do was ask for help! But then I realized for some people, asking for help is harder than giving up on their goal.
For me, it comes back to the idea of knowing one’s strengths and weaknesses. For example, I may be great at one particular task but not so great at another. As a financial coach, my skills in budgeting, simplifying money habits, and inspiring change are strong but I’m weak in other areas. I’ll even admit in writing that my husband is much smarter and more motivating in the areas of health & fitness than me! Spread your wealth of knowledge in the areas you feel confident but allow yourself to receive other peoples’ knowledge and expertise in the areas you struggle. Ask for help. It’s not a weakness; in fact, it’s a sign of strength.
I asked a good friend of mine to speak on this topic. His name is Bob Wilson and he’s the owner of Smartful Coaching. He describes Smartful Coaching as a way to become “Full” – Mindful, Purposeful & Successful. Bob says it comes down to knowing when to surrender.
Know When to Surrender
by Bob Wilson
“Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.” ~Gail Sheehy
When is it ok to surrender? I see 4 times when surrender is appropriate:
1) You’re fighting back emotions
Two ways this often manifests itself is: getting angry over small issues or holding back tears. I can speak from personal experience that holding emotions inside isn’t good. When I was 9 years old, my father died suddenly. That was an era of “be a big boy, don’t cry”. So, I didn’t grieve completely until I got divorced 20+ years later.
2) Something you resist keeps reappearing in your life
It is time to stop resisting and let it into your life; it’s being presented to you again for a reason. Some years ago I was traveling and the person next to me on the airplane started talking about The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. She encouraged me to read it but I forgot about the book until a few months later. At that time I met someone who practically begged me to read the book. I got the book and loved it. Reading that book helped me rediscover my love of reading and that has been instrumental in other positive changes in my life and my career.
3) You try to control everything
There are times when control is important and needed. For example, traffic laws or safety regulations for operating machinery. However, control has become such a part of our society, that many people don’t even realize how controlling they are. Daniel A. Miller wrote an excellent book on control: Losing Control, Finding Serenity.
4) You feel overwhelmed
- Does your to-do list just gets longer and longer?
- To get caught up, do you often get less sleep than needed?
- Does it seem as if the harder you work the farther behind you get?
If any of these are familiar to you, then stop and examine what you need to release from your life.
I also recommend you read The Dip by Seth Godin. Seth does a wonderful job of talking about when to quit something and when to stick with it.
If you were one of the 88% who gave up on a New Year’s Resolution already, it may be time to ask for help and that’s ok. Find an expert you trust whether that’s a personal trainer, coach, doctor, etc and ask them for their knowledge and guidance.
Thank you for reading and sharing!
~Your Financial Coach~